The Green and Yellow Elephants in the Room

The only way sports can be a legitimate form of civic pride is if the players actually represent the city they play for. I don’t mean that Seattle’s players have to be from here. Those hopes were dashed two years ago, when I went to my first ever NBA game, a Sonics game, and found that none of the players were from Seattle. But that’s fine.

Pro sports are an evolutionary throwback to tribal warfare, and, frankly, it’s just impractical to fracture our nation by going to Portland to kill them in the night. So we have metaphorical battles against our neighbors, but it’s still for our team. For our city!

So before I can shed a tear—or give a shit at all—about the Sonics leaving Seattle, I want to hear from the players, our warriors in the night. Where do they stand in the moving-to-Oklahoma settlement?

Kevin Durant, Luke Ridnour (it will have been very impressive if I got their names right without Googling them)—what do they think? Will they miss Seattle? Doesn’t this departure, after years of loyal support from fans, tear them up? Will they miss the half-full Key Arena? The Squatch?

If they can’t say anything, if they don’t care, then I don’t care and none of us should care that they’re leaving. If they don’t give a shit, then never really represented us anyway.

Oh, I can hear crowd of nagging voices. The players have a gag order. They have to be good sports. Fuck that nagging voice. They are gabby about the city in times of peace. They’re gabby when it’s time to sell jerseys. They’re gabby—inarticulate, always, but gabby—whenever it’s time to talk about how they did in the second half, or some irrelevant shit. Let’s hear them be gabby now that the game actually counts for something. If they really have been muzzled, if civic pride and spirit of the game (in court or on the court, har!) are trumped by big business, the civic pride had already left the Sonics players. Whatever we believed we saw in them was an illusion. We should be grateful that the smoke has cleared and the mirrors have been shattered.

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